The Burnt – Chapter 19

“Now, when did I say to recheck with me for confirmation on her decision. Her decision on anything is final for you all. Don’t ever think of insulting her by confirming with me on that – Got it”

“Yes Sir” Nakul was so confused

“You may leave” he ordered and Nakul left

“I need to talk to Geet. Why is she ruining her own life now? Everything was so sorted for her. Why is she complicating it by bringing me into the picture? Having me around her is a terrible sign—why can’t Geet see that? I am  the curse of her life, and who keeps a curse close? I have to make her understand.”

***********

“Daddy-Daddy” Came the life endearing sweet voice of Adhvay. Smile automatically adorned  Maan’s face and he turned to see his son running to him. Maan knelt down and spread his arms and Advay perfectly settled into his embrace

“Daddy, Advay is so-so happy. Daddy is going to stay with us, here. Daddy, now you will not go to the outhouse? You will have dinner with us? You will always be here? Now, can I come to you at any hour? Advay was going on and on with excitement. 

Maan realized that it wasn’t just about explaining things to Geet—how could he possibly break his son’s heart? How could he be the one to crush Adhvay’s excitement? The dilemma Geet had unintentionally placed him in felt unbearable. If he left, he would become  his own son’s culprit , shattering the heart of his little boy. But if he stayed, it wouldn’t be fair to Geet. She wouldn’t be able to focus on her own life or move forward. The weight of this decision was suffocating.

No, he has to be strong and not let her get entangled in his life.

“Dad – why don’t you answer me? Will you go back?” Advay’s face fell at just the thought, his eyes already glimmering with tears.

“I am not going anywhere” He calmed his son

“You’ll stay here, with us, forever always?” Little boy confirmed in all the ways. His teary eyes suddenly had brightness in it.

“I will stay here, with you, near you, close to you, always available. Forever” Maan ensured his little one in all the ways

“Yeyyyyyy” shouted Advay in his ears

Advay then soon slipped down from his arms “Daddy, Mumma is here. I got to go” and before Maan could answer Advay was gone. How did Advay know that Geet was back? But that was the connection between Mom-son.

*******

“Mumma” Advay ran to Geet and bent down and picked him in her arms

“Mumma – Dad will stay with us, always and fo-ever. He promised me, he will not go out there” he signaled in direction of outhouse from his little fingers”

Geet kissed his cheeks “Now go play. See your friends are there in the garden. And before Geet could give further instruction, the little boy disappeared.

**********

Maan couldn’t focus on anything in his new room. His mind was mostly occupied with thoughts of how to keep her away from him. 

After the way he had treated her, he felt he had no right to lead a normal life or be a part of her family. How rough he had been with her at every moment – in private, on bed and even in public. Never gave her recognition of his wife. Had she not left him, he would have been the same man, filled with ego, hatred and misconception about all women. 

Why is she still getting involved with his matters and concern about him? 

It was just one year of relationship and that too horrendous.  She should not halt her life for that relationship.

Maan left the room and went out for his gymming. That was his safe zone to pour out all the confusion and come out with the resolve.

Maan came out after an intense hour at the gym. He had made a resolve. He had decided—he would request and explain to her, hoping she would understand.

If she didn’t understand, he had a Plan B—though he hoped he wouldn’t have to use it. In the past, being harsh had been easy for him, but now, the thought of hurting her felt unbearable. The last thing he wanted was to bring sadness or pain to her. Yet, for her happiness and a brighter future, she needed to stay away from him and not weave her life around his, because he knew he was her ultimate darkness. He couldn’t let her pull herself into that darkness.

Maan was approaching the main hall, confident after coming into the conclusions. 

He walked into the hall, wiping his face, lost in his thoughts, when he accidentally bumped into someone. Instinctively, he reached out and caught hold of them. The moment his hands touched, he knew exactly who it was.

Geet placed her hand on his bare shoulder to stabilize herself. The electrifying sensation passed through them, their eyes locked and lost in each other. Shyness brought hesitation in her and she was about to move her gaze away along with her hand from his shoulder but soon realized something and decided otherwise. She stayed that way and kept looking into his deep eyes that were still lost in her. In his eyes, Geet could feel the softness and longings, which he otherwise was able to hide.

Maan soon realized what he was doing. He slowly stabilized her on her food and tore his gaze away.

“I am sorry “ he said, masking his face with no emotion 

Geet smiled “We are in the same house now, we will keep encountering each other. You don’t have to say sorry every time.“

Maan was a little surprised  with her smile and comfort. He straightened himself

“Unnn Hnnn” he cleared his throat. Geet smiled  

“Geet, ummm…”a little hesitation in his voice “We need to talk. Can we meet in half an hour” 

Geet nodded her head sideways “Ji. You freshen up. I will be in your room. I also need to see if everything has been properly set for you”

“No worries on that. All is good, if not I will get it fixed. ” Geet did not say much. Just gave him a smile. 

Maan turned and left for his room. Geet kept looking at his back as his figure retreated and slowly disappeared when he took a turn.

Geet’s love has surfaced. But that was not a gamechanger to her approach. She never had her doubt on her love for him. She had been hurt by him, scared from him but her love for him did not move an inch away. 

The reason for her confidence and change to approach was him. She has seen love for her in his eyes and that was enough for Geet to go beyond. 

She can clearly feel how he is pushing himself away from her, for her. It’s hurting him but he is punishing himself. He is daily living each moment of his life loaded with a heavy weight of guilt for his  past deeds. He is suffering.

Now, clearly knowing that he loves her so deep, she has a reason to never give up. She will not run away but fight. Fight with him, for him, for them, for Advay and a little for her as well. 

Geet was seated with Dadima, continuously looking at her watch.

Maan, on the other side, went to have a quick shower.

Fifteen minutes passed, Geet saw Nakul playing with Advay. She looked Dadima

“Dadima, will you see if Advay is kept busy?”

“You do not need to worry. He will be having fun. But it has just been fifteen minutes” Dadima reminded, very well knowing how punctual Maan is about time.

“He is my husband, Dadima. It’ not professional appointment” Geet said with a smile

Savitri Devi nodded. The feeling of Maan and Geet reuniting was beautiful, if that happens. But Geet’s wellbeing and happiness was above all. The girl has suffered a lot and then worked alone and has made her own life. Anything that happens should give Geet happiness.

Maan wrapped a white towel around him after a quick shower. He gave a quick look at his watch, it had been fifteen minutes. Geet would come in the next fifteen minutes. He came out of the shower, still whipping his wet hair so he could be quickly decent enough to talk to her.

But his destiny, Geet, had another plan. As he stepped out of the washroom, busy drying his wet hair, Geet entered from the entrance door of the room. Their eyes met and locked. 

She was here? Already? Maan froze in his place, caught off guard, not knowing what to do. 

Geet’s eyes drank in the sight of the half-naked, masculinity, standing right before her. His handsomeness has only increased by time. He was a complete display of raw strength and rugged appeal and still held the power to quicken her  pulse.

Geet’s old habit of hesitation and shyness, witnessing him like this was surfacing but she soon controlled herself. Her openness and little shamelessness is needed. He has completely locked himself, trained himself to lock his desire. If she allowed her shyness to take over now, the distance she was trying to bridge between them would never close. Determined, she decided to shamelessly savor the heavenly view before her, a beautiful smile adorning her face.

This wasn’t the Geet that Maan knew, nor was it the Geet that she herself had ever recognized. Yet, deep down, she had always harbored a longing for him—one that had remained hidden and buried within her heart.

Maan brought himself in control and placed the towel on his shoulder, turned towards his wardrobe. Maybe she will get the hint. But Geet, instead, slightly closed the door behind her and entered the room. As he placed his hand on the handle to open the closet, Geet placed her hand as well. Maan looked at her confused

“You dry yourself, I will get out the clothes”

“It’s fine. You should not trouble yourself with this meager stuff. I will get ready and in ten minutes meet you in the study at the east end”

“You still don’t like my presence in your room. I thought….” Geet said in a low voice. 

Maan immediately turned to her. 

“Please, Noooo. Not at all?”

“Then? You do not want me to touch your stuff, just like before” Geet asked further

“Geet, what I like or not like doesn’t matter. It’s about you” He clarified immediately.  

“I left you and took your child away from you – your not wanting me anywhere near you is understandable. Any man will not forgive a wife who does this to him”she said while handling him his clothes

“Please, you are taking it all wrong. Who am I to forgive you? You and fault,no. Don’t even think in that direction. You have simply suffered in this relationship. The only person who is at fault and a sinner is me. That’s what we need to talk about. I’ll change and come” he left to the washroom, with the set she had handed him. 

Maan changed while confusion clouded his mind. He placed his hands on the slab of the washbasin and looked at himself in the mirror. Her offer and forgiveness to him were all so tempting. Maan closed his eyes tight and opened it wide

“That is a gesture of her goodness. Her goodness doesn’t make your sin any less. You do not deserve her” He warned himself, looking at his image in the mirror.

Maan was not able to understand how to explain Geet. He had resolved that he will be all strict with her, outrightly show her he is not interested. But it was all not happening. 

His, simply asking her to wait for him in study, and it all went in the wrong direction. She started blaming herself. How could she? He can never let her feel she did anything wrong.

And that is what she had decided. Say and do anything to not give him a chance to push her away. 

Geet was smiling on the other side. She was prepared that he would push away all her advances but she was determined. And now that she knows that he loves her so much, she will not give up. The suffering that he has undergone, she needs to end it.

All her past pain she had endured due to him, seemed much less than what he is doing with himself. Maybe her pain in those days was bigger but the love that she always held for him and that she still has, makes her feel for his pain more than her own.

Also, though unintentionally, but, she has punished him and he has been burning in that guilt for those many years. 

Why should she hold onto past when she loves him deeply and now when she knows hurting her and her self respect is the last thing that he will do, when she knows that he loves her way beyond himself and that her respect and happiness is above all for him and when mostly importantly, she never left him for her own self —she was simply terrified of losing her child, a fear that has now vanished. It is beyond – the way Maan has been with Advay and ensuring that she was the centre of Advay’s life.

When Maan came out after changing, he saw Geet all over the room, rearranging it.

“Geet, you don’t need to” she turned listening his words

“You do not like the changes?” She asked immediatly

“No, it’s perfect. But you don’t need to. I do not need it.” He said in a little hard tone. He felt bad even with that level of tighter tone, but he has to do it to keep her away from messing her life.

Geet stepped a little closer, gently taking his right hand in hers. The softness of her touch sent a jolt through Maan.

“Come, let’s sit and talk” Maan’s heart raced with her confident yet soft touch. 

According to his resolve, he shouldn’t encourage her advances. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to pull his hand away—it would feel like an insult to her and might hurt her feelings.

She led him to the sitting arrangement in the wide balcony of his room and they settled there. Her touch was making him go through so many emotions and tingling instability. So Maan slowly slipped his hand from hers.

Maan took a deep breath and confirmed his resolve which was breaking every now and then in front of her.

“Geet, please listen to me patiently” 

Geet smiled and nodded

“See, I am not sure why you are trying to enter into the mess which you had left long back. Whatever steps you took long back was perfectly right. Everyone has all rights to leave behind a toxic life and restart a new life with the respect they deserve. And I must say, the way you have alleviated yourself, all alone, far away from your own toxic family and far away from a toxic husband, is incredible. It takes a lot of strength, both mental and emotional to achieve what you have achieved. You have proved to all who have shown you down, what you actually are. It was just your goodness that you bowed to all the toxic people around you, just because you loved them, including me.

What you have achieved is something on which a story could be told, a movie could be made for inspiration to many girls and boys, men and women. “ He paused

Geet was smiling within – from all his big lecture all she inferred was, how deeply he loved her, respected her and was proud of her. 

How she had worked hard only to prove to him, she was not that worthless, she was someone whom he didn’t have to be ashamed of being associated with, that she deserved to be mother of his child.

And the result of her efforts was right in front of her, so simply in his long lecture.

“Ho gaya. Anything more you would want to add” She asked with a smile

“Yes,” Maan said, not convinced that his message actually reached her or not. 

He was showing her the mirror of their horrendous past and how he does not deserve her – but she was still simply smiling.

“See, my life is going fine, your life is going fine and on top you gave me Advay. We are doing good in our respective lives. Then why are you trying to reverse it to something that was so painful for you”

“Was my being with you in the past painful to you as well?” she asked instead

“Geet, you were the most beautiful gift that God gifted me but I was not worth it. “

“Are you happy without me?” she threw another question on him. Geet knew one thing for sure – even when Maan was rude or ruthless, he never ever lied. So, she knew he could twist words but would never lie.

“See, that does not matter. Why are we even heading to such a discussion? All that I have to say is you should continue your sorted life the way you have been doing. I am doing fine and you should not worry or get involved in getting concerned about my needs”

Geet came closer and this time took both his palms in hers 

“Khush hain aap? Mujhse door. Did you never missed me when I left” 

Maan looked everywhere except her. 

“Why don’t you understand, you should keep away from me” he tried to pull his hand away but Geet came even closer and ensured his palms were in hers. 

Her closeness was definitely making him weak, his heartbeat uneven

“You hate me for leaving you like that and that’s why you do not want me anywhere near you. Galti hui mujhse” She had tears in her eyes

Her tears brought more restlessness in him “Geet please stop, don’t cry. Please.” 

His hands automatically went up to wipe her cheeks but he stopped midway and folded his fingers back .

“Mumma—Daaddy” Advay came running and stopped still seeing his parents sitting so close to each other. Nakul came running behind

“Sir-ma’am, Advay Baba didn’t listen to me” Said Nakul all worried

Geet quickly wiped her tears. “No Problem” She got up and took Advay with her.